Screwed Negotiator

This was going to be a fun blog, in fact I put together a good slice of it's masterpiece last night when I couldn't sleep (as well as made some updates to the template). It's this lack of QT in the King-Size that has me going in a different direction tonight. Fear not, I'll get back to the goofy crap tomorrow.

It's reality check time. As Don Kirby, my drum teacher from back when girls were icky, would say - "the excrement has hit the air conditioner."

What I've discovered about this process is that it is a never-ending parade of self-negotiations. Some of these mental math tests are small - "should I bring my 'cut your mullet' t-shirt" to Singapore - part of me doesn't want to seperate from this gem, the other part of me, the one that LEAVES the house, says space in our shipment could be otherwise utilized.

The big negotiations are the hard ones. When I find that I'm terrified about trying to find a job (one that I'll enjoy and that will actually pay me), or I'm outside playing with Winnie and get this tidal wave of sadness over how much I will miss her, or when Dad emails to say he was in a car accident (he's fine), not being able to spend time with Mom (and her chicken parm and cookies) - these are the times when I need my sales training. I go back to the beginning, to the library of PROS dangling from this opportunity, and tip the scales (yup, was in a courtroom today) back to realizing that I'd actually be as noodles-for-brained as people think I am to pass this up. While here, buried in the lists, I'm living all the cons. Everything I see/do/eat is something I'm leaving. The Pros, they are waiting for me 10,250 miles away.

Thankfully, I think some of these decisions and internal struggles get resolved in ways you can't control. For example, Kellie hates the "cut your mullet" t-shirt, so, it's not going.

My VCR broke today. It slid off a pile of books on the counter. I was actually quite upset. Then I laughed at myself because I threw out all my videos when we moved from the condo. Someone should just follow me around.

Now - I'm going back to tomorrow's blog which I'm preparing for you like a Top Chef Master.