This is your captain, we're going down. . . . or up

Singaporeans take automated movement freakin seriously. It's like being surrounded by 5.4 million Nascar drivers who don't have cars, but have buses, trains, escalators and elevators and fat white-boy be damned should he be in the way. Remember Talladaga Nights? "If you're not first, you're last" - ? It's like "Jimmy's commute to work, sponsored by Doritos." Remember in grammar school - "No cutting." Yeah they didn't have that. Folks gotta be the first one on the train, first one off the train, gotta make the elevator, will push onto the escalator - I mean, maybe I don't like my job as much or something - but I'm just never in that big a hurry. Which brings me to (surprise) a point:

Every elevator ride has a "Captain." This is not a position that's voted upon or discussed - the captain just assumes the duties of "Elevator Ride Captain," or ERC. The ERC has two primary jobs throughout their portion of the elevator journey, which I'll get to - but, in the unforeseen case where the ERC gets off the elevator before the end of the journey, a new ERC must immediately take over, and they do.

ERC Duty #1: Upon arrival to a floor, kindly hold the "Door Open" button until everyone has alighted and boarded the elevator
ERC Duty #2: HIT THE DOOR CLOSE BUTTON AS FAST AS FREAKIN POSSIBLE, ideally clipping the shin of the last person getting on or off. Any time spent with the door open and no one moving through is time wasted.

Got to watch the Red Sox game (b/c it was in LA and went extra innings) today while eating a cheese burger with a fried egg on it (don't knock it till you try it) at a place called Fatboys Burgers. Nuff Sed.

Now my less than law-abiding friends will appreciate this one: while 4:20pm on 4/20 is, for some, celebrated back in less civilized countries - in Singapore, that's just 16:20 on 20/4. Huh?

Kellie and I have booked our first trip! Bali? Phuket? Dubai? Sydney? Oh hell no - Manila baby - yup - the Philippines (I say it Fill-Ip-In-Eez). Should be interesting, and it's a tick off the country list. Kel has to go for work so I'll tag along and chill for the weekend - maybe I'll feel adventurous and sky dive, or scuba dive, or maybe go apeshit and brush my teeth with the tap water! I don't know - let's just get nutty.

Oh and our first visitor is scheduled to come see us - Uncle Donald due into Singapore for a quick 2 night 1 day visit late May! We're excited to entertain now that our apartment is outfitted properly.

This is the only place I've ever been in the shower and run out of Cold Water.

Had a client meeting last week and told her that we would produce a small event for her "Soup to Nuts." Trying explaining what that means, fine, but why it means that? Any ideas? My arsenal of cliche's and sayings and "quips" are useless here. It's like locals have a force field to protect against humor. Maybe it IS just my humor.

So Matt from EMC arrived, Kellie's colleague who's setting up another group here for EMC, and he compared this neighborhood to a Quincy Market with a river running through it. I liked that, read it on his blog this afternoon, and I'm giving him credit for what he said. .. . ANYWHO - within this area there are a number of restaurants and we now have TWO favorite Italian Places, which I actually find troubling. For lunch today, we found a third and I just couldn't bring myself to try another one. For people who DO come visit, you might spend your whole time here NOT eating Asian food.

One thing that's really neat about Singapore TV is that when you watch a show, it notes very clearly what SEASON you are watching, which I find to be fantastic. House 4, CSI 7, American Idol 10, etc. I think this is something that TV stations back in the states could learn something from. Makes your TV inhaling more organized, more efficient. In that same light, Modern Family 2 is on here. Now, I make no secret that I believe this is the funniest show in the history of broadcast television - HOW EVER - as per usual the Republic of Singapore takes there scissors to the programs and would like you to believe that Cam and Mitch are friends, just friends. Any reference to their relationship or orientation is edited out of the show. It's frustrating now because I've seen the episodes and know what's missing, but what about if I end up watching NEW shows - it's a gonna be lame! It's a sad state of affairs.

Alright - well I suppose I should finish my Jack & Coke, put some pants on, and head over to the BBQ I'm already 30 minutes late for. Thanks for tuning in (especially you new folks in Poland), and have a super duper Easter - and if you find yourself in church - please let God know where I am and tell I said "hi"